


Cloaked skies

by charcoalstardust



Category: bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst with a Happy Ending, Kim Taehyung | V & Park Jimin Are Best Friends, Kim Taehyung | V Is Whipped, Kim Taehyung | V Is a Sweetheart, Knight AU, M/M, Min Yoongi | Suga Is a Good Hyung, Oneshot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rainforest, War flashbacks, a little angst im sorry, first fic, flowerboys, flowerknights, i tried making it fluffy, if ure a hoe for description please read, im not into whitewashing at all but the snow white decription is there for a reason ok dont @ me, its my first time posting and i have no idea what to do bye, lots of colours, medieval bts, medieval taegi, support me ily, taehyung has ptsd after war, the unofficial origin of i purple you hehe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 03:41:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16846435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charcoalstardust/pseuds/charcoalstardust
Summary: Where war cannot leave Kim Taehyung's sad heart and the only thing keeping him going is the beautiful Commander Yoongi who gave his life a purpose. where he spends his days loving those who are gone and those who are not, all in a magical forest clearing, so strikingly full of peace and winter just like the Commander he finds himself too in love with, both nothing like his own darkened war-wrenched heart. where he finds answers in the sky's colours and in the people he loves.





	Cloaked skies

The cloak Taehyung picked for himself at the crack of dawn that morning was his favorite. The fabric was slightly thick, and if he folded it to a certain amount, it was perfect for the strange fluctuation of the cold of October that had descended over his valley. A perfect shade of maroon, the same as the last shade of red that appeared on the horizon when the sun had almost set and night was about to fall. As he rubbed his hands together, his grandmother's words whispered through his ears, pulling a tingled smile onto his face. 

"Your hands are so hard and strong, honey. You know what's so special about strong hard hands?  The man whose hands harden because of hardwork for his people has hell forbidden away from him by God," he remembered her stroking them softly, bathing them with scented water she made from lavenders, always with her in a small vile. Her words were like a song. He'd restlessly shake at first as she'd tend to his cuts, but then she would promise him his favorite meal, and then he would relax under her touch, letting her humming and the strong scent of all sorts of flowers immerse him. 

He pulled the cloak off its hook, sliding it over his shoulders. The clouds he could see from his window told him a leather shirt would be enough. The life of a knight had caused most of his love for extravagances and luxuries to fade away. Though he always watched civilians and rich young men his age walk the same roads in their expensive neat suits, the air of gentlemen floating around them almost intimidatingly, he had long given up considering a similar life. He wasn't meant to be like them. Taehyung wasn't meant to be them. He let out a small cloud of breath. The gentle heave his chest felt enveloped him in an unnecessary moment of fear. 

War. War still hadn't left his heart. His eyes closed as he shook his head to remove the unsettling memories that flashed across it. He wanted to only think of peace that day. The cloak smelt nice, almost like the lavender water his grandmother used. The fragrance let him shudder away the darkness that had dug its way into his mind again. He wanted nothing but to forget. 

He tied the ribbon slinging from the front of the cloak firmly so he was entirely hidden by it. His head was bare, which he held higher as he was taught. Knights didn't need to cover their heads. 

"It is your pride," his Commander had said in his calm quiet voice, "Keep it high."

He temptingly watched the beret that sat in a small shelf next to the window. He was a bit tired of standing out so much. 

He shook his head before he could give it more thought, hurrying himself into the long caramel coloured boots at the entrance of the small house. 

A warm grey-brown head tickled at his feet, inquisitively poking its small pink nose at the tip of the hanging bootlace. He cooingly scratched the cat's ears. 

"Good morning, Em."

Em meowed arrogantly in response, elegantly walking away into the open yard. 

The sound of thin slippers on the wooden floor made him turn his head. His sister was awake.

"I knew you'd be leaving," she sidled next to him as she spoke in a merry smug voice, her gown trailing after her. 

He pulled back from his laces. 

"It will never," he turned to her as his face contorted into exasperation, "cease to apall me how you willingly wake up this early every day."

She ruffled her short blonde hair with a small grin. 

"It takes work to be a legend, ugly. Past that, what wakes my sad brother up so early?" she folded her dress behind her, sitting next to him on the cold porch. 

He stared at her. 

"Nothing, just thought I'd see a friend," he mumbled, pushing himself to his feet quickly.

"Is it your pretty Commander?" He didn't even need to turn to know the gleeful look on Mel's face. 

"Pretty? He's my commander. What's with the pretty?" He gaped. 

Mel rolled her eyes. "You used to look at him like he was the only human that exists."

Taehyung scrunched his eyes. 

"I do not," he mumbled. 

"Like you're so whipped you'd sacrifice your arms if he asked you to," Mel continued.

"I-"

"And that cloak is his too,isn't it?" she clapped her hands in joy.

His eyes widened in surprise. 

"How do you know that?"

"You were holding it in your sleep, and it smells nicer than you could ever smell."

He facepalmed, throwing his hands up. Her head tossed itself back in tinkling laughter. "I'm joking! It has a nametag on it." 

"Let me rest. Is there anything to eat or are you just awake early to annoy me?" he spoke, his voice gruff already. It was useless to win against his sister. 

She pulled out a small wicket basket from under her apron. 

"Here's a picnic lunch. I'm only being nice to you today so you have a nice date, okay? she spoke as he tied the basket to the belt around his waist. His eyes watched her with an appalled expression. He didn't deny anything for the lunch smelled too lovely. 

"Aren't you taking your sword?" she asked, eyeing the empty belt hook. He tipped his head to peer inside the house, quietly grabbing the tall sheathed sword. He reluctantly slipped it on. 

"Say Hi from me, okay? Tell him to buy my cloaks. They're made from 100% pure wool, fit for a prince, knight and Knight's commander alike," she called as he walked out into the street. He amusedly nodded. 

Some of the sun's light had scattered itself across the horizon, so it had streaked the low shredded clouds with pale and dark shades of red and yellow. The purple tinge was slowly evaporating from the top of the sky, scrubbing into a bright forget-me-not blue. He wished the day would stay as beautiful as the sunrise seemed to promise. His steps grew firmer. His family's home was at the edge of the town, so the walk to the forested valley wasn't long. The stone path beneath his feet was soon replaced by the forest earth carpeted with its fallen leaves.  

His eyes scanned for a familiar clearing between the looming spiky trunks. Wildflowers bordered the place, merry green shrubs scattered across the path. He tossed his sword to a side on a bed of heather, spreading his cloak around himself so it blanketed him as he let his legs stretch in front of him, the basket gently placed by his side. 

All he had to do now was wait, and watch the sun rise to begin the day. 

It amused him how the small forested valley showed no sign that an entire war had taken just a mountain away. It made him glad to one point. The quiet blanket that always sat over the forest made it seem that peace wasn't just a fantasy to the nation. 

"When you go home, I want you to forget for a while. I want you to pretend like you are your old self. Do things you did when you were young. Spend time with your family. Forget you are a knight. Forget it till I tell you to stop doing so again. Understand?" the dark-haired Commander had told him. His voice was calm and quiet as always in his memory. Troops unassembled around them, nurses carried the wounded to tents. The war had ended. The words sounded too unreal to even say out loud, so he pretended they didn't exist. He remembered being too exhausted to even register the older's words. He had still nodded, the sword in his bruised hand limply hanging by his hand. He remembered being in a strange spell when they had announced to retreat, as if he couldn't even think straight. 

"And wipe your sword, Taehyung," he had barely heard the commander through the noise around him. He had followed his gaze to the dark blood dripping from the edge of the blade. He wiped it clean on the torn cape hanging from his shoulders. The Commander tossed it off him just then, pulling him to himself in a sudden embrace. Taehyung had still not regained his senses enough to register anything but the warm breath he could feel at the back of his neck as the Commander's milky white hand pressed the back of his head onto his own shoulder. The wind had been sharp in the open valley where the earth was strewn with the coughed up remains of the battle, but he remembered feeling nothing but warmth at that moment, warmth and a soft scent of wild roses. The commander had been so warm. He felt as if he was finally melting a little, just a little though. His heart was still frozen to the core. He felt a soft stroke on his hair, and then felt it retrieve as quickly as he had felt it, as if someone had touched him by mistake. He didn't move an inch, letting the Commander hold him as long as he wished. 

"I know you're sad," he heard his low rough voice near his ear, "I'm sad too. We're all sad. We're all broken on the inside. Every inch hurts."

The Commander's voice had shaken. He quietly let every word of his whispers fill him with more warmth. 

"We are knights, and if we let anyone know we are sad, they will never lose a chance to break our hearts more. Don't let anyone but me ever know, okay?" Taehyung didn't respond. The Commander knew he couldn't. Instead he let his bruised fingers tighten around the fabric of the Commander's cloak, two hurt hearts. Two broken souls just clinging to each other for that small moment, hoping it would heal them, hoping the warmth would stitch the cuts on their hearts. 

The Commander had pulled back, the cold wind circling around them. He held Taehyung by his shoulders. Taehyung's eyes drooped with tiredness as he kept standing straight, gaze fixated on the Commander's milk coloured face, the tip of his nose pink, either with the cold, or from the tears that threateningly swam in his eyes. His silky dark hair tossed upwards towards the west as the wind teased them. Taehyung remembered every detail of his face as he felt his mind numb from the cold and tiredness. His eyes were half closed, a neat beautiful line of eyelashes rimming them. His face was delicate, heart-shaped. Taehyung had always thought it would feel so nice to hold it in both his hands, like it would fit in them perfectly, like it was a small snow flower, a white rose that refused to open for the world wasn't ready for its beauty. The sadness in every inch of his crystal clear black eyes made him feel like he himself was nothing but an ocean of crystal sadness, but then he'd want to do nothing else but anything that would stop those tears from falling. They would wet the already cold rose, and he couldn't bear that to ever happen. 

"Go home, dear."

He had returned and collapsed in some tent awhile after that while the remaining army came to celebrate on the Commander, who smiled at his soldiers and chanted with them, masking his eyes as he closed them with each laugh.

He had woken up in the infirmary after a few days to his torn cape missing, another maroon one wrapped tightly around him. It was unusually warm, the same lingering scent of wild roses reaching his nose if he buried his face in it. A young nurse had waited for him. After removing his bandages, she declared him healthy enough to return. 

"You did amazing, sir. Don't be hard on yourself," she had quietly spoken as he walked out of the melancholy field. 

He had turned in surprise to observe her at her words for the first time. Hair the colour of ink, pink painted cheeks and shining quiet koi fish eyes. She resembled someone he knew. He smiled sadly, really relaxing his shoulders.

"War makes you stone even if you don't want it to."

The Commander had returned home along with the rest of the army, so he did the same. War barely even whispered in the quiet valley where his house was tucked. His family had never been happier to see him, and his father never prouder. He'd make him walk in front of him whenever they went out. 

"That's my son," he'd tell whenever he'd catch anyone watch Taehyung's bare head and long slinking sword and gleaming badge, "He's a knight who saved his nation."

It had only been a day when he overheard his sister mentioning a particularly handsome pale-skinned Knight at her shop where she sold her handmade clothes. Taehyung had barely been able to swallow his bread when he heard the mention. 

"Did he have dark hair?" he asked.

Mel had nodded in surprise. 

"Haven't you seen him before? He's from this town. Lives nearby. He's often in the clearing behind our house when I go for picking flowers. He's always sprawled asleep or staring at flowers there."

Taehyung took a big gulp of water. 

"That's my Commander," he spoke. 

His sister's face lit up. 

"No wonder I thought I'd seen him before! He's that one knight you always follow around, right?" she spoke up eagerly. 

Taehyung glared at her, quietly finishing his meal. He'd have gotten up if it had been a few years ago, but the life of a knight especially in war had made him cherish every bite of homemade food. 

 

He stared at the canopy above him as he leaned against a less rough tree bark. Soft white sunlight filtered itself onto him. He let it warm him, the maroon cloak not wrapped around him anymore. There was a constant chirping of birds in the forest, occasional squirrels streaking across the leaves at his feet. The sounds almost felt like music. He closed his eyes, letting every sound be absorbed into him. The smell of wildflowers wafted in the air. 

It felt like peace. Everything did feel like peace.  He'd roamed around the forest a lot as a young boy, but had never spent time in this clearing. He could understand why the Commander loved this place so much. If he focused enough, the place did feel as if it held the soul of the Commander. Quiet, with a little music which was both sad and happy in its own way, the same smell of flowers, the white sunlight, the warmth and the cold both together; the perfect forest from a fairytale for a prince like him. 

The Commander really looked like a prince. His steps were always firm, yet elegant in their own way. His words were always chosen, velvet-like, meaningful and moving. He had the natural air of an intimidating royal, authority evident in every look of his mysterious eyes, and obedience always in front of him without any question. He was unusually young for his position, but no one had ever crossed him. Taehyung had remembered every second of when he had first met the Commander. He almost laughed at how merry and careless a boy he had been. Taehyung had no idea who the Commander was when he first saw him, and at the prime of his youthful days, he'd fooled around enough to exasperate the intimidating moon-light bathed prince to anger he rarely ever showed. Taehyung's antics being caught by the Commander had always been one of the biggest sights of entertainment for the other knights during their training days. He'd be practicing sparring just like everyone else and his sword would go flying Lord knew how right into a post, getting stuck so bad it would not budge even after hours of Taehyung and the Commander frustratingly alone in the training field till night, taking turns to tug it out. He'd be fishing in the river just like everyone else, but only his rod always got tangled in the most absurd of things. There had been uncountable incidents, but the Commander had eventually shaped him to error less as the months passed, till he was one of the best of his fleet. Everyone told Taehyung how he had forced the Commander to melt into the man he now was, no longer the ever-intimidating ice-like glared prince, though it always failed for him to understand why. Taehyung would smile shyly in response. He'd matured from the young boy he had started out as. Though everyone forced him into doing a prank or two every once in a while, he was reluctant to annoy the Commander if he could avoid it. 

"Commander Yoongi secretly really enjoys having you around doing the things you do. You make this place more lively, he says," his friends would whisper to him as they hoaxed him into joining their antics. 

The sun was a bit higher now, and he hadn't had breakfast in his hurry. The basket smelled too good to ignore but he wanted to wait to see if they Commander would come. It had been weeks since the war ended, and he had a cloak to return, a broken heart to talk about.

His gaze restlessly searched the path he had come from. A small fluffy-tailed squirrel dashed in a hurry from a neighbouring bush just then, as if someone had scared it. He leaned forward to glance. 

A gentle tread prickled his ears. He recognized it. A soft hum, a hum in the voice of a man who had nothing to lose. His eyes kept themselves fixated on the curving path that led right to where he sat surrounded by the trees and flowers. 

It was the Commander without a doubt, but he had never looked less like himself. His shoulders were relaxed into a slump, his cheeks painted pink with the valley's air, ink black hair tossed messily across his fair forehead, a soft smile playing on his lips. He wore the same thick dark boots he always wore, a dark cloak wrapped around himself, a gleaming badge pinned over his heart. A butterfly fluttered around his head, resulting in a small burst of glee on the Commander's young face. It would never have even occurred to him that the same broody Commander from a week ago who led the main fleet in a war he won could look like this. He revealed his right hand from under the cloak which clutched a small watering can and a basket just like Taehyung's. The smile had not faded from his face when his eyes fell on the clearing where he sat surrounded by a chatter of birds and wildflowers, a cloak the same colour as the Commander floating about him as the wind circled the clearing. 

"Taehyung," the name fell from the Commander's lip in pleasant surprise. He pulled himself to his feet, straightening as he pulled his arm into a salute. 

"Commander," he spoke, doing his best to hide any emotion in his voice. 

The Commander pulled off his gloves, quietly walking to Taehyung. Taehyung kept standing in salute, gritting his teeth to fight the blush creeping across his cheeks. A ghost of a smile tickled the Commander's face. 

"Hello Taehyung," he smiled widely this time, revealing his pearly teeth, "Who're you saluting to?" 

Taehyung watched him with a puzzled expression. It was standard etiquette for knights to salute each other. 

"Pardon?" he asked. 

The Commander shook his head with a small laugh, "I told you, you aren't a knight till I ask you to be one again. When you aren't a knight, I am not your Commander. Call me Yoongi."

Taehyung slowly lowered his hand, uncomfortably watching the smiling snow-white knight who sank to his knees, falling back on the same bed of heather he had been lying on. 

"Don't you want to sit down?" the gentleness of his voice startled Taehyung. He blinked to register the absence of what had been an ever-present authoritativeness in it, as if the Commander was talking to a friend. 

Taehyung slowly lowered into his place, ensuring his quivering hands weren't visible.The Commander watched him with an amused expression. 

"So what brings you here?" he asked, tossing his dark unusually rough locks back from his eyes. Taehyung tried not to stare. The constant image of a woodland prince kept flashing across his mind everytime Yoongi slowly lifted his eyes to the magical scenery around him. To be fair, he wasn't trying. The Commander was gorgeous beyond description. 

"Oh, I- uh, I live nearby. Thought I'd have a picnic to myself. I didn't know you lived here," he quickly answered, his eyes flitting everywhere. 

"I live in the same town, yes. I met your sister yesterday. She resembles you a lot. Told me her brother was a knight too. If I'm not mistaken, your parents own the apocathery and the cloth shop at this end of the town, correct?" the Commander turned his head to Taehyung. Taehyung nodded. 

"Are- are you hungry, Commander?" Taehyung asked as a small silence passed between them, the Commander having lied back and closed his eyes. 

"Yoongi," a quiet voice spoke in correction, eyes still closed. 

He laughed nervously. "Commander Yoongi, are you hungry?" he asked again. 

Yoongi pulled himself up, crossing his legs, unpinning his cloak in a quick sudden gesture, a wild smile on his face. 

"Oh, exceedingly," he eagerly watched Taehyung take out the contents of the basket. The Commander reached forward to unwrap the cold chicken. Taehyung stared at him. He was wearing a white shirt with a ruffled collar whose sleeves were long and silky enough to cover the Commander's palms, a dark waistcoat from which the thin chains of a watch hung slipped over it. He wore no belt, his shirt tucked in a pair of loose caramel coloured trousers. Civilian. No, a prince. The Commander looked just as Taehyung had called him earlier, a woodland prince. 

The prince wrapped a long strip of chicken around a piece of bread, a bite bit enough to choke anyone, shoving it all together into his mouth almost delightfully. Taehyung watched in amazement. 

"You try it too. It's more fun if you take bigger bites," the Commander gestured to him with his mouth full. Amused, Taehyung did the same, nearly choking till the Commander pressed a punch to his back. 

"Weakling," the Commander laughed, his mouth full again, having finished most of Taehyung's chicken. 

"S-so," Taehyung tried to start a conversation with the limited words his mind had left him, "How's everything? Your family, and - and you." 

"All great," the Commander said. Taehyung kept startling every time he heard or watched the Commander. He needed someone to slap him to his senses to make sure this wasn't someone else but his own broody Commander from three weeks ago. 

"So, Commander," Taehyung shuffled the small apples between his long fingers, flustering his words to correction as the Commander gave him an indignant stare,"I mean, Commander Yoongi- There's something I really wanted to talk about,"he began. The Commander nodded at him to continue. 

"You- you asked me to hide my heart, right?  Asked me to - well, try to forget that I'm a knight, that there was a war," he felt a bad taste churn in his mouth, "but I can't. I can't forget anything.  I can't leave the house with my head covered, without having this sword weigh at my leg, without taking every breath that reminds me of Jungkook and Jimin. I can't pretend. I can't pretend they're gone and that I'm never going to see them again. You're here, and I'm more grateful than anything that you are, but I can't forget who I was, or the people who were a part of me." 

Yoongi watched him thoughtfully, his expression fading into the old wise Commander he knew all too well for a few seconds. 

"Please," Taehyung almost begged him, "I would never disobey you even if it meant losing my life as many times as I could lose it."

Yoongi reached out to take hold of Taehyung's hand in his own. The contrast between the honey and milk coloured hands was like two polar opposites merged together, like the sun and the moon. Taehyung felt himself startle at the surprisingly gentle touch. It was warm, unlike his own cold hands. 

"It is hard. I told you the first day you came, that it will be hard. Humans, people, they will come, and they will go. They will love, and they will hate. Love and hate so much that you will even think it is the same thing some day. Where there will be happiness, there will be woe. Where there is light, there is darkness," he pulled his cloak over himself with his other arm,his left, "and just like that, when there is war, there will be peace, not just around you, but inside you as well. I know you are full of grief. I know what it is like to lose your best friends, but let it pass. Let the war inside you pass. Don't let regret win. Don't think about what you could've done that would've changed the past. If you hadn't done what you did, our entire nation would have lost. You won the war of a nation, and now I want you to win the war inside you," Yoongi placed their intertwined hands on Taehyung's chest. 

"I'd need to stay a knight for that, Commander," Taehyung quietly spoke after a second's pause. 

Yoongi's face peeled into a smile, his cheeks blossoming into a tinge of pink for the wind around them was still cold. 

Like the white rose blooming, Taehyung suddenly remembered.

"Alright. You can stay a knight, but on the outside, I want you to enjoy the peace. I want you to relish it so you seek the same for your soul," Yoongi responded. 

Taehyung felt a blush creep from his cheeks to his ears, their cold tips turning warmer. He tried hiding the shy smile that forced its way onto his face. 

"Thank you, Commander," he said as the Commander's long thin fingers slipped out of his ownGB. 

"Now close your eyes for a while. Listen to the sounds, focus on everything you feel. I come to this place to remind myself of peace. I remind myself that I am human too, and not just a soldier. You know who taught me to do that?" he turned his head to Taehyung. 

Taehyung tipped his head in puzzlement. Yoongi laughed for some reason.

"You did. As a little boy, you reminded me that I was human too. You helped me melt from being just a soldier. When you made me remember that the world was not just soldiers and knights against knights, I was able to become a better knight. I was able to lead other knights as humans. I was able to find something I'd never have found otherwise," he spoke, his eyes on reminiscing some blissful memory as they glassed for a second. 

Taehyung bit his lip, and then proceeded to burst into a bright smile. He closed his eyes as instructed. He had already soaked in his surroundings for a long time before Yoongi had arrived, so he focused on feeling Yoongi's presence. He focused on the flutters he felt in his heart at every tilt of the Commander's beautiful head, the tingling warmth that crept to his burning ears when he felt touch on his hand, the uncontrollable smiles that would never leave his face whenever the prince laughed. The depth of every velvet-like word he felt in every inch of himself that left the Commander's mouth, like he could drown in his words alone. He focused on the love and care filled to the brim in every syllable the Commander adressed him, which was all for him, every word the Commander spoke was for him alone, and no one else, making him forget everything. He had forgotten entirely about his surroundings, yet he had never felt more filled with peace. The Commander was his peace, all the peace and love he needed in the world. Taehyung opened his eyes, slowly turning his head to the Commander who silently watched him. 

"Got anything?" he asked. Taehyung beamed at him with a nod.  

He wished he could tell the Commander, tell him every feeling he felt for him, every moment that felt better because of him. He couldn't hold it inside him any longer. The mere thought thrilled him to the bottom of his heart, terrifying just as much. He just had to wait for the right moment. The right moment to make his world bloom. 

They watched the wind toss the small daisy heads that dotted the edge of the clearing. Taehyung leaned forward and plucked one without thinking, turning it over between his fingers as he brought it to his nose. 

"Jimin loved daisies," he spoke softly. 

"Did he?" the Commander spoke. Taehyung nodded, moving forward to examine more of the flower bunches. 

Yoongi reached into his cloak just then, pulling out a small brown envelope with his right. 

"Jimin," Yoongi held it out to Taehyung, "wanted you to have this in case something happened to him. I haven't read it, don't worry." 

Taehyung turned it in his fingers, tracing his carved name in his friend's straight handwriting. He teared the top open gently, tipping out a long folded parchment and a little periwinkle pouch. He straightened the parchment, his eyes closing themselves as they fell on the small ink fingerprints lining the edge of the parchment. Jimin always got ink stains everywhere. He didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. His throat felt like it would burst, welling up almost too suddenly. 

" _ Taetae _ ,"

He could hear every word he read in his friend's voice, and it was startling how real it sounded. 

_ "Taetae, I miss you. I'm near you when I'm writing this, but when you will be reading this, I won't. I know you miss me too. _

_ Are you fine?  Are you eating enough?  _

_ Did you forget to drink water again? I'm sorry for going. I'm sorry for not getting to say goodbye, for not getting to climb with you to the top of the Jade Mountain, to not get to have a picnic there, to not be able to fulfill our dream of pushing Jungkook off the edge and see if he can climb with only one arm. I am gone. There is nothing more to me than what you remember of me. It's so strange to say that, it's almost funny.  _

_ And I'm sorry but everyone will go. That's how it is, TaeTae. That's just how it is. I thought finding love and friends was the only thing that mattered, but I'm sad I made you believe that. That everything will last forever. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for every promise I made.  _

_ I could have never have asked for a better friend. Are you angry at me? Or are you beating yourself up as usual for me being gone? Don't do it, Taehyung. Live while you can, live in peace and acceptance. We are destined to leave, for this world isn't really our place to stay to begin with, right? Don't die before your death. There are more people out there who you can be happy with. I know the Commander will make it out of the war, and maybe Jungkook too. You have them with you Taehyung. Be grateful for what you have, rather than what you don't.  _

_ I sound weird, don't i? Like some spirit telling you creepy things about death and stuff, but it's so hard not to. It's so hard to not write down everything I learnt in my life. I don't want to let it die with me. I want you to have the most important things from my life. I want you to not repeat the regrets of someone about to die. I'm sorry for being like this. I know you're thinking I've gone insane, but I really don't know what else to say. I didn't feel this before I was about to sit to write this, but now I do. I feel like I am running out of ink but the things I want to tell you are too many.  _

_ I'll cut it down right now for this letter. There isn't much time left, so here's two last things for you.  _

_ The first is that you should know, know that there will be people who love you, and people who break your heart, and I- I don't know how to say this but just keep it as a warning that your heart might be broken by someone soon, and when it does I know you will fall down. You will think the world is empty, and that you are not worthy of love, and that love never existed. Stop shaking your head! I know you will, but It does Taehyung, it does. Just not in the places you want it to be. You will find love again. Have faith in fate.  _

_ I used to think I would never find love after I lost my mother, and I wanted nothing else but to have her back. But I met you. I met you and you were all the love I needed. You are my family, Taehyung. To be in love is only a small part of it, have trust in me. I remember when we'd spend all night just talking without a pause about our crushes but it's so funny how they just went. The way we are losing each other right now for no reason but our fates is the same as losing what we thought we couldn't live without. Don't ever tell yourself you cannot live if you don't have that one thing you are in love with, because nothing stays, Taehyung. Everything goes up in smoke. Soft little clouds, gone before you even remember what they are. Remember to live, Taehyung, live with yourself and for yourself, not something else. Your fate is no one else's, so cherish it, enjoy it and caress it while it lasts. Fate is lovely. It can help you fly when you think you can do nothing but drown. I found it so much prettier to live the life I lived with you all believing in faith. And even now, I might die, but it's okay. If I die it will be for my nation, for my only brother which is you, it's okay. Promise me you will.  _

_ Is it scary to die?you asked me that a few days ago, didn't you? Here's your answer. It isn't. When it's actually time, you remember if you did the things that mattered, and if you did those, then you aren't scared. You aren't scared to follow your fate and let a new life enter earth. I wanted to live on of course, but if I can't it's okay. If you just keep me remembered, just remember these words and me, it's okay if I go.  _

_ I hope you have a beautiful fate just like yourself, just as shining as you deserve it to be. I hope it is filled with love and peace, filled with little and big moments of happiness, filled with meaning and purpose, filled with hope. _

_ Do you remember the song we used to sing in training camp at night?   _

_ Say 1!2!3! There will be better days. _

_ There will be better days for you, Taehyung, better loves, better fates.  _

_ Your bestest friend, _

_ J I M I N. " _

His quivering hands clutched the parchment tight enough to wrinkle the edges. Teardrops had long rolled down his cheeks onto the writing, which he wiped with the tip of his finger to stop the ink from smearing. 

He had soaked in every word, paused at every sentence where he knew Jimin would give a shake to his head, laugh a little merry laugh, perhaps just close his eyes. It was almost like meeting him again, almost as if he could hear his friend again. He let out a deep sigh, leaning against the tree trunk again, his cloaked shoulder brushing against the Commander, suddenly reminding him of his presence. He was too quiet.

"Thank you," he lifted the half folded parchment, "for this." 

The Commander's eyes gently closed in a soft smile. 

"It was just a duty."

"Jimin is in a better place now, hopefully. I hope he met his mother," Yoongi spoke. 

Taehyung turned to Yoongi. 

"I thought you didn't believe in Paradise," he asked. 

Yoongi watched a small couple of birds flutter in circles above them. 

"Maybe I do now. I'm not sure but sometimes I think I do."

Taehyung nodded, his eyes on the parchment again. 

Love he would lose.

But he'd already lost Jimin and Jungkook. Why would Jimin warn him of something that had already happened. 

Over and over. 

He'd spoken about losing almost too many times in the letter. It enveloped him in a strange restless feeling. Just as scared he was to find what it meant, he was curious. 

The tears on his cheek slowly cooled into nothingness as the wind swept around them both, the momentary warmth they had given his face vanishing. His eyes found their way to Yoongi again, who still listlessly watched the clearing. Somehow he kept remembering the Commander's embrace from the time they had last met, when the war had ended. The day he had lost Jimin and Jungkook. The day they left the freezing battlefield. 

He wanted it again. Suddenly he wanted nothing but to hide in the Commander's warm cloak again and bury his head under the Commander's, Jimin's letter held against his chest, the Commander's soft velvetty words whispering in his ears, his pale warm head stroking his hair. He wanted to feel nothing else. 

It was almost as if the wind carried his longing to the Commander, for the Commander turned his head towards Taehyung just then, the two birds his eyes had been chasing now nestled on a branch right above him. He opened his mouth to let out a small breath, letting a series of expressions cross his beautiful face. Taehyung felt his heart tighten, his thumb pressing harder on the edge of the parchment. He had no words to describe him besides beautiful.

Yoongi reached forward with his left arm into Taehyung's lap, which Taehyung's eyes followed curiously. The hand gently picked up the periwinkle velvet pouch that had come out of Jimin's envelope. Taehyung had forgotten about it. 

"You forgot to open this," Yoongi spoke. 

Taehyung's eyes were still fixated on the pink knuckles that held the pouch, the thin band of glistening platinum on the second to last finger not allowing him to even blink. 

"Taehyung?" Yoongi still held the pouch out, waiting. 

"That-" Taehyung felt himself stumble on his words, barely able to get them out, "that's a nice ring." 

Surprise dawned Yoongi's face, and Taehyung watched his eyes widen enough to see the white above his iris. The Commander's lips covered themselves in a nervous smile as he stroked the ring. 

"I haven't seen you wear this one before," Taehyung continued.

"Hm," Yoongi mumbled as he stared at the ring. His eyes fluttered upwards to meet Taehyung's, whose heart hammered into his chest loud enough for Yoongi to hear. So hard, he could barely speak more. His breath was paralysed in his throat, his lips chapped as he bit on them. 

"I got this one," Yoongi spoke slowly, "after the war. I got engaged a few days ago." 

The fond smile which Yoongi's face peeled into seemed to shatter every shard of his heart, making it feel as if glass rained inside him, filling up every part inside him, dark dark oceans of overwhelming threateningly swarming all the way around his neck, nearly drowning him. 

"Your heart will break soon and when it does, you will fall down." 

He briefly closed his eyes, almost as if keeping them open would let Yoongi see everything inside him, every drop of struggling sadness begging to run out of him, make him cry and throw himself till he couldn't ever get up again. 

It felt strange.

He knew he loved Yoongi. He knew he was truly in love with him. Yet he had never come to think how Yoongi felt, whether Yoongi was in love, whether he felt anything more for Taehyung than what he showed. 

Yoongi wasn't to blame. 

The Commander wasn't to blame. 

He took a small breath. 

In and out. 

He smiled back at the Commander, droning out the disarray inside him. 

"So that is how you found your peace, then?" he asked. 

Yoongi nodded a bit shyly, the fond smile still etched on his face, making him look even more lovely. If only Taehyung could make him smile like that. 

He clenched his teeth as his heart kept wrenching. 

"She-she was someone I'd promised myself very long ago, but with the war I told her to not wait for me. She still did," Yoongi let out a small laugh, "She still waited for me."

His eyes had glassed over, love like a cloud over his face. Taehyung felt like he was choking, but he smiled. Yoongi was in peace. 

Yoongi had helped Taehyung find his peace, so he had no right to steal his. 

If it hadn't been for Yoongi, he would have never made it out of the war itself, never arrived at this beautiful clearing, never gotten Jimin's last words. 

Yoongi looked expectantly at Taehyung's pouch, turning the attention away from himself. 

"Aren't you going to open it?" 

Taehyung clenched and unclenched his hand to lessen the shaking that had suddenly taken over, every movement around him or Yoongi startling him. 

He slowly pulled open the string tightened around the pouch's mouth, tipping its contents out. Another smaller folded parchment and a little vile whose cork was sealed and dangling from a thin silver chain. He raised the vile to his eyes fascinatedly. 

"I've never seen a rock like this in this valley," he mused. His parents ran an apocathery, so his knowledge of such things was bound to be good. The vile was filled with crushed rock as fine as sand, purple as a hydrangea, a strange soft glow to it. 

"It's shimmering," Yoongi spoke.

He unfolded the parchment amusedly. 

_ "Really long ago, my grandfather told me about a comet that had crashed in my village. I'd always loved the place even though no one went there. The rocks of the comets are purple as you can see in this little vile. Isn't purple your favourite colour? Look how it shines. I've had this since I was little, and it's my most favorite possession. Do you know why? It's a star, a star from the galaxy outside. This bottle holds stardust. When I die, I might be a star like everyone says, who knows. Here's some stardust for you to remind you that no matter how far I may seem, I am still with you, just like this star came to us on earth. It sounds stupid, but I just liked holding on to this hoping I could feel some of its magic. What we all feel as friends and people does feel like magic sometimes, doesn't it? That's it for now.  _

_ I hope we meet again, even if it's just as little stars. _

_ JIMIN again." _

He pulled the chain over his head, tucking the vile inside the front of his shirt. 

"Does it feel magical?" 

Taehyung had spoken out without thinking. 

"What?"

"Her. Your engagement," Taehyung replied. 

Yoongi watched him for a second and then slowly nodded. 

"You'll love her. She's a lot like Jimin, now that I think about it," Yoongi said merrily. 

Taehyung nodded with his eyes closed. 

"Who knows, maybe I will."

"I'm sorry for not telling you this earlier," the Commander spoke, the maroon cloak fallen back from him. 

"No, it's alright."

"I wasn't sure myself. Sure that I'd make it back to her, you know, or whether she would wait for me. I didn't believe even though she did, which makes her really special," Yoongi spoke, his eyes flitting to the little nestled couple of birds above him again, "Just like Jimin knew you would make it."

Taehyung weakly smiled at the merry prince in front of him. He looked even prettier in love, his words even more beautiful. The vile felt cold against his collarbone inside his shirt, sending a chill over him, and he let himself feel it. 

What it felt to be a star. 

A lonely star waiting for love.

For a friend. Jimin was waiting for him, watching over him, and as much as Taehyung wanted to go to him, he would live, just the way Jimin asked him to. 

They talked about their days and memories till the sun fell. They laughed, remembered happy moments, picked flowers, ate some more, ran around to warm themselves, the forest bringing out the pink in their cheeks and the shine back in their eyes. 

As he watched the Commander take large bites of the bright red apple in his white hands as amiably as he could, he willed the grief that had pooled inside him to be buried somewhere deep away. He wanted to feel peace. He wanted to feel grateful. The Commander had his own fate. Taehyung would find his own, and love it just like he did. 

He carefully scanned the wildflower beds, picking up enough for two bunches. He returned to his place, crossing his legs as he quickly pulled the string from Jimin's pouch out again which he cut in two with his teeth, wrapping it around the dangling stems of the arranged bunches into a squareknot followed by a bow. 

Yoongi watched amusedly.

"You're surprisingly good at this," he said.

Taehyung laughed. 

"My grandmother taught me."

He handed one to the Commander. 

"Congratulations," his eyes wrinkled into a smile. 

The sky had blued itself to the same colour of the birds in the clearing. He felt the prince's warm fingers brush against his as he took hold of the bunch. 

"Thank you, Taehyung."

"The other one is for her. Give her my best wishes."

Yoongi nodded.

Taehyung lifted his arm in a small salute, which Yoongi returned with a fond shake of his inkblack hair. 

The sun had slipped below the clearing they stood on, hanging at the edge of the valley they could see if they walked a bit ahead out of the clearing. 

It had been months since he had felt this peaceful watching a sunset. He let the now softening chatter of birds sing for his heart as he soaked in the sky's swirling shades of pink, red and blue. It was like oil paints sprawled across an endless canvas: dark blue first, then the highest point where the pink and blue met, painting a purple just like the 'stardust' from Jimin's gift. In the purple, he could see Jimin. The purple beyond which Jimin had never gone, or maybe he had, but he had chosen to die back in it. His fingers folded around the vile around his neck. He wanted to see himself in it as well. 

In the red at the very end of the valley's horizon, he could see Yoongi, and the love he had found, the fondness with which the prince looked at the ring on his finger. YOONGO who was red with love. Red was something far in his fate, something he thought he would never see again, but like Jimin had said, it would be there. If it could be in the sky at the same time as the dark blue, it could be in his fate too. 

In the blue, he saw an ocean that wasn't just black like the sadness inside him had felt. He saw an ocean that was dark blue, a black that had found light, and painted itself happier, into purple, slowly pink and then the red Yoongi finally was. Yoongi had made it across the sky's colours, from night to day. He was still night. In that dark blue stage of the sky, he had thought he had fallen in love. 

Was it really love he had felt? He had never felt it before to affirm himself. 

"You are too sad, too hard after the war to feel it. What you thought was love was just a wish to find peace, a wish to leave the dark night. You are still young in your fate, with more colours (times) to see, more sunsets to find yourselves in. Your love is yet to come. If one is lost, there will be another sunset tomorrow. Another red, another love." 

He watched Yoongi look at the same valley, only Yoongi did not watch the sky; he watched the town. Yoongi had already lived the fate Taehyung was yet to see. Yoongi's purple had been meeting Taehyung. He had seen his spring (pink) as he had told Taehyung when he had melted from the icy Commander to a human. He had found red in his new love, in his wedding. 

Yoongi was still beautiful, but not Taehyung's anymore, and Taehyung felt his eyes change. His heart had stopped fluttering. The woodland prince felt like a childhood memory all of a sudden. It surprised him how fast the sadness had gone. 

He had never been able to get over sadness this fast. 

He was grateful. Just grateful. 

"Thank you, Jimin."

Purple by today himself. In the purple stretch of the sky's canvas, he could see soft tufts of white. The snow white rose he had found in the forest clearing that day, with everything else which was previously blue now purple. He could feel it, feel the hydrangea purple stardust pouring out of the periwinkle pouch. 

"Time to go home, Taehyung. It's getting dark," the Commander's voice softly spoke. 

"As you say, Commander." Taehyung spun on his heel as he grinned, his grip warm and tight on the empty lunch basket, the maroon cloak wrapped tightly around him; the colour that tinged his cheeks; the colour he wanted to be some day. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> im still learning and hope to grow better into writing but i hope i could get my concept accross. the Yoongi in this story is one the current Yoongi might want to be, someone who gets over his differences and is a great leader who finds peace in his fate and helps others to do so too. The Taehyung in this story is perhaps the Taehyung current Taehyung was a few years ago, someone unsure, tied between contradictions inside him, where at one place he is too scared to love for loss is too painful while at the other he wants nothing else. Please leave feedback I cherish it immensely as this is the first time I'm posting. I purple you all <3


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